And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
