1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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