Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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