He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
