Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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