In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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