i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
