And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
