You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
