tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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