She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
