Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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