I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
