It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
