Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(423): View more from Tennessee

i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.

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(480): View more from Arizona

I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.

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(907): View more from Alaska

Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room

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(310): View more from California

You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.

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(740): View more from Ohio

I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.

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(419): View more from Ohio

So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.

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(845): View more from New York

So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low

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(410): View more from Maryland

I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows

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