forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
