Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize