Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
