There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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