So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
