You're a womanizer and a bitch.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
