Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
