My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
