apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
