I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize