He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
