I cockslap morals
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
