All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
as a side note pls kill me
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