you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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