I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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