I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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