So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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