you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
