Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
