can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
