shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
