So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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