he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
