You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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