Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
