tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Randomize
