Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so explain again why im purple
no
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
