I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
