everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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