just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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