I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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