We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
