Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
