I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
