oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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