At least make sure they are 18
Why
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
