I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
