where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
