i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
