We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
There's even glitter on my cock...
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